Category: Humor

What ARE Those Bright Spots on Ceres? I Have the Inside Scoop!

NASA scientists and thousands of others are bewildered by the appearance of several bright, shiny spots on the surface of the asteroid Ceres, largest object in the asteroid belt, which the U.S. space program has been exploring in recent weeks.

Speculation has run rampant as to the nature and origin of these reflective spots.

Wonder no more, my friends. I am in the exclusive possession of a communique from the leaders of Ceres to us Earthlings that explains precisely what the spots consist of and the threat they pose to our national — nay, our global — security.

You can read it all at this link.

Don’t say you haven’t been warned.

I’ll See Your Piece of Toast and Raise You One Dwarf Planet

Every once in a while you hear a weird story about the face of Jesus or  Mary or Dwight Eisenhower showing up on a piece of toast or a washcloth or some other insensate object.

President Barack Obama has done them one better. His face — or rather half of it — shows up in some animated imaging from the dwarf planet Ceres which is the subject of the latest NASA mission called Dawn.

UFO followers believe they have discovered the “watermark” of Obama’s pensive countenance in a NASA animation which you can see here. (Depending on your tolerance for hyper-bizarre conspiracy theories you may want to skip the ‘story’ that accompanies that image.)

Of course those same people believe that two bright spots of illumination spotted on Ceres a couple of weeks ago by the explorer craft are beacons guiding UFO’s to an underground base, so….

 

Hysterical! Trying to Set a Password

This one came to me labeled “Senior Trying to Set a Password” but it would work for anyone. Read it and roar.

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50bloodyboiled cabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon’tGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER: ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

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